I know, the title sounds like such a cliché but when I reconnected with my inner child I gained so much clarity on who I was. What do I mean by this? Well, once I felt like I had gotten my bipolar and anxiety under control, I still feel like there was a big piece of the puzzle missing. There were, for me so many unanswered questions about myself as a person. I had heard a podcast and had a few discussions with friends about revisiting your childhood to find some of the answers to your life’s answers. I thought it was a fabulous idea. I started by recording the things that I did remember about myself when I was young before illness, heartbreak, stress, and all those things came in and altered my personality. I had very little to work with, since my memory isn’t that great (or so I thought).
I then went to every family member that was around when I was younger, who would have a better recollection of my personality back then. I recorded all their answers so that I can piece together the puzzle of me and find the answers that I so desperately needed. Once I received the answers from my family members, I was able to recall more and more from my early years. I was then able to get a clear picture of what my personality was like. It was not that much different than what I thought, but I wanted definitive answers so that I could tap back into those qualities and nourish all my likes, and interests. To me this would be an ultimate act of self – love, and a great way to get back into alignment with myself.
What I discovered was amazing! I discovered, that I was always an introvert and very cautious of new people, but once I became comfortable, I could turn into a chatter box, and I was super friendly. I was always creative and observant. These were just a few of my discoveries. This was me raw and uncut before bipolar tried to wreck me, and before anxiety lied to me.
I am so glad that I did this, and more importantly that I had so many people that could provide me with the insights that I was looking for. I can move on now knowing who I am at the core, and I really can take on anything that comes my way. I do not feel like there is a giant question mark on my forehead.
This was such an awesome exercise, and I urge anyone to do this if they have the chance. This can only help, and it is fun to look at old baby pictures also.
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