It’s Time to Forgive Yourself

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The ups and downs of dealing with a mental illness can be like riding on a roller coaster.  

The highs and lows can be very unpredictable. In the years before I was diagnosed, I had done some things that I was not proud of.  I would beat myself up and then never “let it go” or forgive myself for what I had done. This alone was exhausting to me. During a bout of mania that I had, I spent over $200k.  Yes, that’s right, $200k. Once the mental fog had subsided and I realized what I had actually done, I was so mortified. I would take it a step further and say that I was disgusted with myself.  How could I squander away so much money and not even realize what I had spent most of the money on.


Giving myself the benefit of the doubt was something that I had never been accustomed to doing.  

But when I looked at my situation more closely I had to show myself a little more compassion than I had done over the years.  I was a 24 year old young parent, who had just lost her parent and caregiver. I found myself in a very traumatic situation and had not dealt with my grief and loss at all.  To some on the outside, it looked like I was just out of control, but as I looked at my situation more and more there were definitely some signs that I needed help.

For the longest time,

I was unable to forgive myself and show myself any compassion because of the things that I had done. The money was the largest one for me. Little did I know that carrying around all of this frustration and anger with myself over this money that was long gone was not going to help me.  In fact it was going to be a large hindrance to me. It was. I had to let go. Letting go would be one of the steps that would lead me into the direction of awareness and recovery. It took a long time.  When I say a long time, I mean a really long time, but I was able to let go of it and forgive myself. I also take this experience as something that I can learn from and what’s better than that.


Having a Mental Illness Made Me A Better Person

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Having a Mental Illness Made Me A Better Person

When I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and anxiety over 4 years ago, I thought that it was the end of the world.  Because of the stigma and negative images portrayed about people with mental health disorders, I too believed the awful narratives.  I did not of course, want to be one of them.  I know that was a terrible way of thinking but, it was from lack of knowledge and information.

For years I was in denial about my illness. 

I did not want to admit having an illness that so many viewed in such a negative way. After years of partially maintaining my illness, it did not yield the results that I desired.  I wanted to live a normal life and “be okay”.

Last year I made a vow to myself.  I vowed to take my mental health seriously.  This included going to therapy on a regular basis (once a week) and seeing my psychiatrist at least every 8 weeks.  What I did not realize when I started on this new path, what I was in for. I hoped that I would feel better but never in a million years did I think that I would feel like a brand-new person.

In additional to learning the coping skills needed maintain my illness…….

I also dealt with many of the issues that had plagued my past.  As much as I denied dealing with these issues, dealing with them really helped me.  I began seeing things more clearly, developed a greater relationship with myself, and increased my self-awareness and self-love. 

I do believe that had I not received my diagnosis, I would not have had the chance to really take the time to focus on my mental health and my past issues.  I truly believe that my mental illness has made me a better person, and I am so grateful for it. 

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5 Amazing Reasons to Attend A Support Group

Ever since being diagnosed, I have done a lot of research on things that would help me manage my mental health.  Support groups are a great way to manage your mental health in a positive way.  I have attended many support groups and I love all that support groups stand for.  Below are 5 great reasons to attend a support group.

  1. Shared Experiences – When you attend a support group, you meet up with people who share similar experiences and circumstances as you.  This allows you to feel comfortable. 
  2. Open and honest communication – You can engage in honest communication about your experiences with people who are familiar with what you are going through without the judgement you may face from those who are not in similar circumstances.
  3. Sense of community – You feel like you are a part of an exclusive club when you a part of group of peers who share a similar experience.
  4. Comparison of resources – Being in a support group is a great way to share tips, resources, and advice on your illness and treatment.
  5. Developing and understanding of your situation - When you surround yourself with people who share similar expeiences as you, you are able to look at your situation in a way that you may not have done so in the past.  This gives you a new outlook on your circumstances, and this may be for the better.  


If you are dealing with a mental health issue and are looking for a healthy way to deal with it.  Consider a support group.  It may be just what you need.